The Changing of the Beard

While I don't know or care why Jayson Werth is sporting his awesome new beard (which is a VAST improvement over his old goatee), I do know and care why Chan Ho Park is going to lose his old one. Our former middle relief champ is losing his beard because he signed with the Yankees today. The question is: what the hell is Chan Ho Park thinking?

Let's go over the facts of what's been happening with Mr. Park since we last saw him give up a single to A-Rod in the 7th inning of Game 6 of the
World Series, back on November 4th. The rumors are that, before he became a free agent, Park was offered a one year contract for around $3.25 million to pitch in relief for the Phillies in 2010, doing what he did best in 2009. Instead, he turned down this deal and decided to look elsewhere, reportedly because he still viewed himself as a starter. And we all know how well that went for him in 2009. In case you forgot, his record as a starter last year was a whopping 7.29 ERA in 7 starts, where he was clearly losing velocity just so he could pitch badly in games for longer. When he switched to being a great long relief pitcher, he posted a 2.52 ERA for the rest of the season and regularly hit 94-96 mph with his fastball again. He also averaged a little over a strikeout per inning he pitched. So clearly this is a guy who is meant to be a... starter? If you asked him at the end of last year, that seemed to be the case.

Moving forward to this past week, there were faint signs of life returning to Park's pitching career, when it was rumored that the Cubs had interest in him, including giving him the chance to compete for a spot in the rotation. Meanwhile the Phillies had moved on, given a similar amount of money to what they had offered Park to Cuban Defector #1, Danys Baez, a quality late innings reliever with closing experience. They also signed Cuban Defector #2, Jose Contreras, to do what Park did last year for half of what they had offered Park. So the Cubs are offering the man what he ostensibly wanted, and his prior championship caliber team has moved on, what does he do? He signs with the Yankees. For $1.2 million plus $300,000 in incentives. And why does he choose the Yankees over the Cubs? "I was deliberating on the Chicago Cubs and the Yankees, but their history and championship contention resulted in me picking the Yankees" (from a good ESPN article on the subject). So let's recap:

• In November 2009, Chan Ho Park turns down a $3.25 million offer to play for a championship caliber team, in relief, because he wants to be a starter.
• On February 22, 2010, Chan Ho Park accepts an offer for $2 million less than that to do what? Pitch in relief for a championship caliber team. While turning down what probably would have been a higher offer from the Cubs to compete for a starting role.

I'll say this, if Chan Ho Park's goal was to give a giant middle finger to the Phillies, he succeeded. I just don't know what the Phillies ever did to him to deserve that. It's also possible the whole thing is another fail on the part of Scott Boras, that baseball super-agent. [Update: Turns out he's not represented by Scott Boras, but Jeff Borris. Those damn homophones get me every time. Thanks to the anonymous comment for that tidbit. You should still read Jayson Stark's piece about Johnny Damon, though, even if it's not quite as relevant.] If you want to see how well listening to Boras did for another one of his actual clients, read up on the saga of Johnny Damon of this offseason, as brilliantly retold by Jayson Stark. Also, for another great take on this whole story, check out Chan Ho Plays Waiting Game, Loses over at Crashburn Alley

But enough about the past. The Phillies position players officially reported today, and Jayson Werth's beard was the star attraction to many observers. If seeing it one time wasn't enough for you to believe it, here it is again:

This beard reminds me (and others who have tweeted about it today) of many things, including: Jesus, Ron Burgundy when he breaks down in Anchorman, the GEICO cavemen (thanks Brad Lidge), and Johnny Damon c. 2004. This last comparison could be both exciting and depressing. The exciting part is that Johnny Damon in 2004 was part of a magical championship Red Sox that broke the curse of a city. Jayson Werth could prove pivotal in the Phillies winning another World Series title this year, cementing this Phillies team and one of the greats in baseball, certainly National League, history. The depressing part is that Johnny Damon turned around and signed with the Yankees the very next year and the beard vanished. Let's hope Jayson Werth doesn't follow Chan Ho Park and do the same next offseason.

Note: Werth photo courtesy of Todd Zolecki; Park photo courtesy of Jeff Zelevansky, Getty Images.